Is It OK to Live a Shallow Life?
This is a possibly valuable question. Is it ok to live a s shallow life? Many men and some families live a shallow life. From a Christian counselor my wife and I learned a valuable lesson with his hand drawn pyramid like I did above.
- Level 1 is top of the pyramid. just an acquaintance.
- Level 2 is the beginning of a shallow friendship
- Level 3 cuts deeper to involve things we believe like faith and politics and how to make the best cake.
- Level 4 is things that deeply trouble me and and my hopes and dreams at a quite vulnerable level
- Level 5 is clear. For mental health, we each need one person and likely only one person who we can be at level 5 with. Studies show that Americans have 0.5 level five friendships. This means half the people have no completely open relationship.
The family I grew up in was a level 2 family where we could not talk about faith or differing views of politics. For example, I do not remember my parents ever asking me how I felt. My childhood church was the same. The pastor had no faith, or my parents would have left that church. Thus, the pastor refused to talk with me about faith when I was curious.
OK To Live A Shallow Life? No Way
Now, let’s take a look at John 17. Here is the only place Jesus is shown to be praying for you and me.
20 “My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, 21 that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. 22 I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one— 23 I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.
Surely the Trinity have a level 5 relationship though Jesus on earth did not know the day and the hour of the end time. I sense he does now.
It would seem Jesus was asking us to have level 5 relationships with every believer. We can imagine heaven could be this way. That may be why we do not marry in heaven.
On earth, my wife and I surely must not be completely open with our kids. Jesus is talking about a deep unity on earth, but he must know the picture has some gaps on earth. Jesus was not level 5 with the Father while on earth for example.
Just the same, with our spouses we should slowly seek complete openness. With our children surely level 4, but we should not force them or anyone. Depth is surely a process in our fallen world.
What does Peter say?
Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for each other, love one another deeply, from the heart.[a]
This sounds like level 4. Sincere love must come first. We do not know who Peter was thinking of when he wrote. So, we see the goals. We cannot force anyone, but we should seek to go deeper whenever we can and pray about love to understand God’s will.
