I often have to say, “I did not pray.”
However, I started a blog for God. How could I not pray about that?
Let me tell a recent story. Somehow, I was feeling pressure about this blog. I was afraid people were not reading it and did not like it. Additionally, I wondered if I was writing things that were too boring.
I am in the process of learning how to find and express my emotions. I belatedly realized that I was stressed about the blog.
I went to my dear Christian wife and told her. She gently asked if I had prayed about it. Instantly, I felt naked. I had no excuses and nothing I could say.
Suddenly, I felt, “You started a blog for God and never prayed about it.”
I then prayed and felt better right away.
What happened in my heart that caused me to not pray? What happens that often causes me to be this way?
I journal to pray and pray about a lot of things. I had never journaled about this blog though I was writing it every week and gradually feeling pressured and condemned. I think I was probably trying to be God in some way.
I Did Not Pray and Needed Help
What I can say is I need others to help me with my blind spots as I am a sinner. I think we all need this. In James 5:16 it says we should confess our sins to one another. I could not pray, and even had trouble seeing what I was feeling. At least as soon as I could, I needed to tell a trusted Christian what I was struggling with.
That is the Kingdom of God as I know it. We all have gaps and need other children of our Heavenly Father to help us. Sometimes God even gives non Christians insight to help us see better. It also helps to pray about everything and keep reading the Bible. Finally, sharing the truth about God with another is also a good way to sharpen our own faith. But that might be a separate blog post.
So, I did not pray abour this blog, but I got help (after many months) by telling someone what I was experiencing. Let’s work to connect with others and God by expressing our feeling and by journaling.